I Called Being Jealous “Idiotic” and A Commenter Got Angry – Here’s How I Replied
On a post by @perfectrelationshipsecrets (me) on instagram where I talked about how “jealousy” doesn’t make you ‘more human’, rather it makes you more of an idiot. To see the post yourself, go here.
A commenter, @m.j.burns, leaves a comment and here’s how the conversation went…
Original Post:
View this post on Instagram
@m.j.burns – Harsh. People get jealous and I don’t think that makes them an idiot. Sheesh
@perfectrelationshipsecrets – I appreciate and understand your concern! Being an idiot (stupid) is neither good or bad and it also doesn’t suggest they’d remain an idiot without intervention.
The context is from my first point that as you consider that jealousy is your fear if your partner had choice they may not choose you, therefore your deploying actions and sabotage to prevent them from that choice. This IS stupid! And, if one were to remain jealous after considering this truly makes them an idiot.
@m.j.burns – being an idiot is typically perceived as bad by the people who call “idiots” idiots and by the “idiots” themselves. You can’t call someone an idiot and tell them it’s without negative connotations. I doubt it’ll be received that way by anyone.
Perhaps the word you’re looking for is ignorance, meaning being in an uninformed or unaware state.
People with jealousy often have a fear of abandonment or some other fear from their past experiences. Oftentimes these can be valid fears; ie they’ve been cheated on before by their partner or were lied to by their partner, etc. I’m relationships people cheat, people lie, and sometimes they are forgiven out of love. Does that make the forgiver an idiot?
@perfectrelationshipsecrets – Perhaps it’s my implying one shouldn’t be an idiot 😉
*Whatever* the reason is that someone is jealous, their CHOOSING to remain in their jealousy certainly makes them an idiot (stupid). And this does not preclude any fears they have from experience.
The act of forgiving in itself isn’t an idiotic act especially when appropriately practiced, it makes one enlightened (i.e. unburdening yourself from suffering and reconfiguring your relationships based on others’ demonstrable behaviors). You’re merely making an irrelevant juxtaposition.
@m.j.burns – An irrelevant juxtaposition? All of these acts and/ or feelings come from a place of lack and/or fear.
Feelings felt does not an idiot make. Jealous feelings are seldom chosen to be had, at least in my experience.
What about obsessive compulsive thoughts of jealousy? Is that a choice? Or a disorder? An act of idiocy? All of the above?
@perfectrelationshipsecrets – How much experience have you had in jealousy?
I think you’re conflating Idiocy with a disability or disorder.
Idiocy is merely a very stupid or unintelligent act, which jealousy is once you recognize what it is and its consequences.
Once you appreciate that there’s no reason to geld someone to you or FORCE them to choose you IF you love them, then that sensation of fear of loss and rage (which is jealousy) goes away.
What do you think? Who do you think has better reasoning? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
